Hey Kids, Let's Read Heavy Rain!
by Mister Frodo
Summary: What would Heavy Rain be like as a children's story book? Well... maybe not quite like this, but it would be something similar! So, buckle up for some rain-drenched action in Heavy Rain: Storytime Edition. CHAPTER 6 IS UP
1. Ethan's Very Happy Family

**Hello, everyone! It's been a _loooooong_ time since I've written any fan fiction. Instead of focusing on any of my long-standing projects that I probably won't finish now, I decided to write an entirely different fan fic! Yeah! This is basically what I think Heavy Rain would be like if it were a children's book. This only covers the first few chapters of the game, and I don't know how well it's written, but, uh, enjoy! :D**

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Heavy Rain. Also, **THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**_

This is a story about a man named Ethan Mars.

Ethan was a very happy man living in a very big house. He had a nice family, with his wife named Grace and his two sons named Jason and Shaun. They were very happy together.

One day, Ethan got out of bed after sleeping in his underwear. He found it very hard to walk around for some reason, but he lived with it. He decided to take a shower and get dressed. He also decided to show everyone his behind, because that makes his story more realistic. (Except for people in Japan. They didn't get to see his behind. D: )

Ethan drew some pictures and then lay in the garden until his family got home. Then he helped his wife set the table. Then he played with his sons. Then he dueled his son Jason while very good music that for some reason was not on the soundtrack played. Then he gave his son Shaun a hug after Shaun's bird died of foreshadowing.

Later, Ethan and his very happy family went to the mall. They were happy there. Ethan's wife Grace took Shaun to buy some shoes. Ethan was supposed to watch Jason, but he let Jason wander off because Ethan is an idiot. Jason then got Ethan to buy him a balloon from a _very _creepy clown.

After Ethan bought the balloon and paid for it, Jason ran away again. Ethan looked for Jason while calling Jason's name over and over in the same two or three tones of voice. Ethan searched and searched and searched, but he could not find Jason in the mall. Finally, Ethan found Jason outside across the street, but when Jason ran across the street, he was hit by a car and died, even though Ethan dived in front of the car and got between it and Jason. This made Ethan and his very happy family very, very sad.

Two years passed. It started raining a lot. Ethan's very happy family became a very sad family. Ethan and Ethan's wife Grace went away from each other. Shaun stayed with Ethan sometimes. Ethan would pick up Shaun, but Ethan would always be late because Ethan is an idiot. This made Shaun sad. Ethan tried to be friends with Shaun, but Shaun was still sad about Jason's death. Ethan was sad too. Ethan gave Shaun a snack, helped Shaun with his homework, fed him dinner, and changed his diaper. Ethan also got a strange letter in the mail, but he ignored it. Ethan then tucked Shaun in and gave Shaun his weird, evil-looking teddy bear so Shaun could sleep.

After this, Ethan was going to bed when he passed out. Ethan woke up at a street called Carnaby Corner. It was raining. Ethan didn't know if he was really there or if he was just dreaming, and neither did anybody else. Then Ethan's chapter ended.

To be continued…


	2. Being a Detective Is Fun!

**Hello everyone! Thank you so much for your reviews of the first chapter! I'm glad at least some people were able to enjoy the story. Hopefully, it will continue to be entertaining. I don't have a great history updating my fan fics, but due to the short length of these chapters and the ease of writing them, I hope I won't have the same problems I've had in the past. Also, about the carousel joke here... I don't know if it's different in other parts of the United States, but from where I come from (southern U.S.), I never hear it called a carousel, just a merry-go-round. Maybe that's just me, though. So hopefully the joke makes sense. Well, thanks for reading, and please enjoy!**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Heavy Rain. Also, as always, **THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS.**  
_

Chapter 2: Being a Detective Is Fun!

While Ethan was having his blackout, another man was driving a car in the rain. This man was Scott Shelby. Scott was a detective looking for the Origami Killer, who did not kill Origami but placed Origami on those he killed. Scott went to a hotel looking for a nice lady named Lauren.

Lauren was a nice lady who liked nice men and saw them a lot. She let Scott into her room. He asked her questions about her son, Johnny, who had died. Thinking about Johnny made her sad. Scott left her his business card and was heading home. Then he was attacked by asthma! Scott got his inhaler in time to defeat the asthma. Scott was very thankful that his asthma would not play any major role whatsoever after that.

While Scott was being attacked by asthma, a mean man went to Lauren's room. Scott followed the mean man and fought him in a long fight. Scott beat up the man, who promised he would see Scott again even though he would never again appear in the story. Scott then went home, leaving Lauren with her mouth hanging open in concern.

Another man was driving a car in the rain. His name was Norman Jayden. Jayden was an FBI agent. He had a problem. He liked to take drugs, even though drugs are very, very bad. Jayden was looking for the Origami Killer, like Scott, only Jayden wore a suit and wasn't fat.

Jayden met Lieutenant Carter Blake, who would be his partner in looking for the Origami Killer. Blake was a cool man who had to act mean to everyone because he was the bad cop. This made Blake sad on the inside. Jayden and Blake became best friends, even though they didn't like each other. Then Jayden put on cool sunglasses that let him use stuff that hadn't been invented yet. Then he looked at a dead body, walked around, looked at some mud, climbed up a hill, looked at some tire tracks, and waved at a friendly driver who splashed water on him. This all made Jayden very tired, so he went home.

That same day, Ethan was talking to a shrink because he was very sad. The shrink showed Ethan pictures and asked him what they looked like. No matter what Ethan said the pictures looked like, it always made him very sad and very scared. The shrink tried to make Ethan feel happy, but Ethan still felt sad. The shrink then tossed Ethan a softball, and Ethan hit it out of the park!*

Ethan went to pick up Shaun from school, but he was late again, and this made Shaun sad. Ethan and Shaun went to the park. The other kids and parents at the park were happy, but Ethan and Shaun were very sad. Ethan tried to play games with Shaun to make Shaun happier. Ethan threw Shaun a boomerang, pushed him on the swing, played with him on the teeter-totter, spun him around until he threw up, and then bought him strawberry candy. Shaun hated strawberry, but Ethan forgot this because Ethan is an idiot.

Ethan and Shaun decided to leave. When they were leaving, they noticed a carousel that was definitely not a merry-go-round. Shaun wanted to ride the carousel that was definitely not a merry-go-round, so Ethan bought him a ticket. Ethan watched as Shaun got on the carousel that was definitely not a merry-go-round. Then, Ethan was attacked by the film grain from Silent Hill. This made Ethan very tired, so he closed his eyes to take a nap.

When Ethan opened his eyes, a big truck came and nearly ran him over. Ethan was at Carnaby Corner again. Remembering that he had once been an Olympic sprinter, Ethan ran as fast as humanly possible to the park. Sadly, Ethan forgot about being an Olympic sprinter as soon as he got to the park and instead walked at the same slow pace for the rest of his life because Ethan is an idiot. Ethan could not find Shaun at the park. Ethan ran home. Shaun was not there. Ethan went into the street. He was very sad. He then noticed that he had an Origami figure in his hand and had been carrying it the whole time without noticing it. Ethan then yelled Shaun's name very loudly because he hated red herrings and they made him very, very sad. Then Ethan's chapter ended, which made him even more sad.

To be continued…

*(If you have no idea what this sentence means, it's okay. XD I don't know how many people will understand it.)


	3. Helping People? Good, Using Drugs? Bad

**Hello everyone! Thank you so much for the reviews and positive feedback! It's very encouraging and awesome! Uh... I'm not sure how good this chapter will be. It's longer than the first two, though I'm not sure if there's a relation between length and quality. I hope you enjoy it, though, and thank you for reading! :D Also, for those who may be wondering, I'm basing most of what happens in this game off my first playthrough of Heavy Rain (like, the choices the characters make, who dies, etc.), though there may be a few tweaks. And if anyone's wondering, I do really like this game. It had me more emotionally involved than most games I've played over the years. I probably wouldn't be parodying it if I didn't like it. So, yeah, enjoy the chapter!**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Heavy Rain. Also, as always, _**_THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS._**_  
_

Chapter 3: Helping People Is Good; Using Drugs Is Bad

Later that day, Norman Jayden was at the police station. He was waiting for Captain Perry, who was in charge of the police. Jayden did not like waiting, but because Jayden had patience he waited without complaining, except in his mind. Jayden then played with his cool sunglasses until Captain Perry came.

When Captain Perry came, Jayden said hello. Captain Perry was busy and treated Jayden oddly. Jayden felt awkward, but he tried to be friends with Captain Perry. Captain Perry was going to meet some nice people and needed help tying his necktie. Jayden liked helping people, so he helped Captain Perry, which made Captain Perry very happy. Captain Perry invited Jayden to meet the nice people with him, but Jayden didn't go because it was boring.

Jayden tried to talk to Blake, but Blake was busy and wouldn't talk to him even though they were best friends. This made Jayden sad. Jayden talked to a nice lady at the counter. Jayden wanted to be nice, so he pointed at a gold watch by the lady. The lady said the watch was for cops who helped others and made people happy and was definitely not a plot device that would show up later in the story. She asked Jayden if he wanted to give the lady money to make the cop happy. Jayden wanted to be nice and help the cop, so he gave the lady five dollars. This was all the money Jayden had for his lunch, but he was okay with it because he would just take Blake's food.

The lady showed Jayden his office. Jayden was sad that it was not a very good office, but he stopped being sad when he realized he didn't care. He then used his cool sunglasses to make a new office. Jayden made his new office in the woods, even though he was inside. Jayden did this because he wanted to play with Winnie the Pooh, but he couldn't because he had to do work, which made him sad. Then, Jayden looked at some files and clues to advance the plot.

Suddenly, Jayden felt bad. He wanted to take drugs, but he knew that drugs were bad. This made him feel bad. He decided to wash his face so he would remember that drugs are bad. He went to the door and wanted to go out, but he was confused because calling a drug "Tripto" and putting "Take Tripto" right next to "Exit" can sometimes confuse people. Jayden left the room, but he still felt sick. He was very pale, and his hands were shaking because drugs are bad. A nice cop asked him what was wrong, but before he answered the cop left, which made Jayden sad. Jayden tried to walk to the bathroom while holding his hand, but he failed because he did not know how to hold hands with someone because he had never been in love, which made Jayden very, very sad. Jayden then went to the bathroom and took his drugs, which is wrong because drugs are bad and that is not what a bathroom is for.

At the same time, Ethan was at the police station. He was talking to Blake and Blake's assistant. Blake's assistant was named Ash, but nobody cared about him, which made Ash sad. Ethan told Blake what had happened to Shaun. Blake asked what clothes Shaun was wearing, but Ethan had trouble remembering because he had trouble telling apart the Circle, Triangle, and Square button prompts. Jayden wanted to ask Ethan questions too, but he was too busy taking drugs because drugs are bad. This meant Jayden couldn't help Ethan, which made him sad because helping people is good. Ethan asked Blake if the Origami Killer took Shaun. Blake wanted to be cool, so he said a cool line, but this made Ethan sad which made Blake sad too. Ethan talked to Grace. He told her what Blake had said because Ethan is an idiot. This made Grace mad at Ethan. Then she wasn't mad but sad about Shaun. Ethan wanted to comfort her, but he couldn't because he didn't have a button prompt, which made him very sad.

That night, Scott was driving in his car. He was visiting a nice man in a shop named Hassan. The Origami Killer killed Hassan's son, which made Hassan very sad. Scott wanted Hassan to help him help Shaun because helping people is good, but Hassan was too sad to help. Scott remembered that he had asthma and went to get an inhaler.

Then a mean man came into the store. The mean man liked to point guns and say a certain f-word a lot because it made him happy. The mean man wanted Hassan's money, but Hassan would not give it to him. Scott wanted to help Hassan, so he tried to sneak behind the mean man. But he knocked over a box because he was fat and the mean man heard him. The mean man pointed a gun at him and said the f-word a few times to make himself happy. Scott saw that the mean man was actually a sad mean man and so Scott decided to help the mean man. Scott talked to the mean man about his family and told the mean man to go home. Scott even said the mean man's favorite f-word just to make him happier. The mean man became happy and left. Hassan was so happy that Scott helped him that he decided to help Scott help Shaun and gave Scott a clue. Scott took the clue and left. Hassan was very happy that Scott had not knocked the mean man out and left him there for Hassan to take care of, because that would have been really stupid.

There was another person awake that night. That person was Madison Paige. Madison was a girl who had trouble sleeping because of a plot device. Madison was very happy that she finally got to be in the story. Madison walked around her apartment. It was creepy because it was dark and shadows would move as she looked at stuff, but Madison didn't really care. Madison, like Scott and Jayden, liked to help people. She wanted to help the people who made Heavy Rain sell more copies of the game, so she took a shower so people could see her without clothes on. This made the game more realistic and helped the people who made Heavy Rain sell more copies of the game, which made Madison happy. (Except for the Japanese. They didn't get to see Madison without clothes on, which made them very sad. D: ) Madison took a long shower and then dried herself off with a towel. She then put her clothes on, which made some people very sad, but they got over it.

Madison went to her fridge, but… the fridge was open! Someone was in the apartment with her! Madison felt very scared. She could either go to her phone or to her door, but she went to the door because going to the phone is pointless. When she tried to open the door, she was attacked! A man came and tried to stab her with a knife. Madison fought him and more men came. Madison fought them and bit them even though biting people is wrong. She ran to her bathroom because she knew she would be safe in a room with only one door and no other exit. But when she was in the bathroom, a man came and slit her throat! This made Madison very sad.

Then Madison woke up. She had been dreaming! Madison was confused, as were more than a few other people. Her dream had been utterly pointless and almost completely unrelated from the main plot. This made Madison sad because she wanted to be part of the main plot. She wondered if taking off her clothes again would make her part of the main plot. But Madison was too tired to take off her clothes and instead went to sleep even though she couldn't actually sleep even though she was actually sleeping before even though she couldn't actually sleep which doesn't seem to make sense but then Madison's chapter ended.

To be continued…

(Seriously, though, why did it take so long for Madison to be part of the main plot? I mean, she's front and center on the North American box cover, but she barely does anything during the first two to three hours of the game. I guess we'll never know…)


	4. Try, Try, Try!

**You might be wondering why this chapter took so long. Well... to be honest... I procrastinated. D: Truth be told, I had a computer problem and had to move the document over to my new computer, but I used this as an excuse to let it sit around for a while and not write it. To those who were waiting patiently for the next chapter, I APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY AND I HOPE THESE ALL CAPS SERVE AS A GOOD APOLOGY. I totally understand if you've gotten annoyed at me and don't want to read this anymore. You can probably see why I have so many unfinished fan fics. XD This one's longer, though I'm not sure how funny it is compared to previous chapters. I'm starting college soon as well, so I don't know how often I'll be able to update this in the future- I'm really sorry I haven't written more of it! I do plan on finishing this, but the next chapters may be coming out quite infrequently, so I ask that you please bear with me! Thank you so much for reading this, and please let me know what you think of the chapter. I hope you enjoy it!**

___Disclaimer: I do not own Heavy Rain. Also, as always, **MASSIVE SPOILERS.**  
_

Chapter 4: Try, Try, Try

Ethan was very sad. He was sitting at home. Paparazzi were outside, making Ethan stay inside. Paparazzi are people who take pictures of people with lives because they don't have lives and want to have lives like the people they take pictures of. Or something like that. Ethan read the creepy letter he had ignored earlier. The letter had a creepy poem. Ethan thought the poem might be from_ The Pied Piper_, but he was too lazy to look it up. The letter also had a subway station locker ticket. Ethan liked subways, so he decided to go to the subway station. Ethan could have gone out the front door, which would have made him very scared because he did not like paparazzi and forced him to walk for what seemed like forever to his car, but Ethan just walked around the back way. Ethan was happy the paparazzi could not turn their heads to the left to see him. He drove away in his car.

Ethan went to the station. It was crowded. There was an angel statue there that looked like the picture on Ethan's locker ticket. Ethan wondered if it was supposed to be symbolic, but he couldn't figure it out so he just ignored it. Ethan noticed that it was crowded. This made him scared, since he had lost Jason in a large crowd. Ethan decided to walk forward, but he was so scared that he started choking on his fear. Then everything in the station froze. Ethan saw Jason walking around with a red balloon. This freaked Ethan out. He ran after Jason but couldn't catch him. This made Ethan sad. He fell down on the ground because he was so sad. Then his dream ended. He was on the ground, but nobody cared. He got up and went to the lockers. He found the right locker by looking at the locker ticket. In the locker was a shoebox. Ethan liked shoes, so he took the shoebox. Ethan then left, but he didn't have any problems with the crowd while leaving because he forgot he was afraid of crowds.

Ethan went to the nearest motel he could find. He definitely didn't go to the motel so he could conveniently meet with another character. He opened the shoe box. Inside were origami figures, a gun, and a phone. Ethan didn't check the gun because shooting people with a gun is bad and even idiots like Ethan knew this. Ethan picked up the phone and put a chip in it. It was a cool video phone, which made him happy, but it showed Shaun drowning, which made him sad. Then letters appeared and told him that he would have to do trials to save his son. Ethan opened the first origami figure, a bear, because he liked bears. It gave him a ticket and told him to go to a place to test his courage. Ethan hid the shoebox under the bed and then left.

Back at the police station, Norman Jayden was talking to Captain Perry, Lieutenant Blake, and Ash. Ash was happy because he got to be in an important scene with important people. Jayden had a cool slideshow he could control, but he didn't know what the button to control it did and so didn't change it until the scene was almost over. He talked to the others about rain and the dead people and origami. Blake wanted to be cool, so he kept interrupting Jayden with pointless objections to the fact that Jayden read books. Jayden wanted to be friends with Blake, so he was nice when he replied. Jayden told the others that he had two people that he thought kinda sorta maybe might be the Origami Killer. He said they should go out there and find the Origami Killer. Blake got angry and said that instead of going out there and finding the Origami Killer they should go out there and find the Origami Killer. Jayden was nice when he replied, but Blake wanted to be cool, so he said his most famous line. Then Jayden and Blake left, but not before Jayden made a cool statement about how much time they had left.

Jayden and Blake went to visit a nice man named Nathaniel. Jayden knocked on the door, but no one answered. Jayden started to leave, feeling sad. Blake didn't want Jayden to feel sad, so he kicked down the door in order to make Jayden happier. He even said a few funny lines, but these didn't seem to make Jayden happier, which made Blake sad. Nathaniel's apartment was very dark. Jayden saw that Nathaniel loved Jesus very much, and he also liked drugs even though drugs are bad for you. Jayden was upset because it was so obvious that Nathaniel was not a killer that it was not obvious that Nathaniel was not a killer. Blake was having too much fun kicking down doors to notice this though.

Then Nathaniel came home. Jayden asked him a few questions. Blake wanted to show Jayden he could be nice, so he asked Nathaniel about the voices in Nathaniel's head to show that he cared. This made Nathaniel scared so he wouldn't talk. Blake then got angry and tried to get Nathaniel to talk. He tried shouting, pacing, and kicking, but none of those worked. Then Nathaniel pulled a gun on him. Jayden was freaked out and did not want to shoot Nathaniel, but he also did not want to shoot Blake, so he talked Nathaniel down by pressing the best buttons. Nathaniel put the gun down. Blake went to handcuff him. Suddenly, Nathaniel pulled something out! Jayden didn't realize what was happening and didn't shoot him. Thankfully, it was just a cross because Nathaniel loved Jesus so much. Jayden was happy because he knew that if a situation similar to this ever came up again, he wouldn't have to worry because he knew it would always be a cross and never a gun. Then Jayden and Blake went home.

At another house, Scott was visiting a lady whose son had died. Inside the house, he saw a very, very cute baby and a note. The note said that the mom was really sad and was taking a bath. This was a bad bath, though, so Scott ran and got her out of it. He then fixed her up because band-aids heal everything, and putting them on after wrapping a cut makes perfect sense. To show what a nice person he was and how he could never ever ever possibly be a killer, Scott took care of the baby. He changed her diaper, fed her, burped her, and rocked her to sleep because those seemed like fun things to do with button prompts. After that, he talked to the mom, who said some boring stuff and then gave him a phone that didn't work. Then Scott left.

Meanwhile, Ethan was going to test his courage. He went to a garage and talked to the unimportant garage attendant who would never appear again. The garage attendant took the ticket and told Ethan the car had been there two years, which made Ethan wonder if he really had amnesia and had put the car there, but that was just a red herring so he didn't think about it too much. Then Ethan went down an elevator to create some atmosphere. Then he walked to his car. He could use his key to see which car was his, which was pretty cool. He got inside the car and found a GPS. The GPS was very annoying, as GPSes usually are, but it told him where to go so he listened to it. Then he drove some.

Ethan drove to a bridge. It was really foggy, so he was afraid that the Silent Hill film grain might attack him again, but it didn't so he was okay. The GPS told him to show his courage he had to drive on the wrong side the road. Ethan knew this was wrong and bad and that he should never do it, but he decided to do it to save Shaun. Ethan was glad he decided to do it because he didn't really know how to refuse. Then Ethan drove on the wrong side of the road. He dodged cars and yelled at the cars and dodged people and yelled at the people and dodged the police and yelled at the police. Then Ethan swerved and drove off the road, but it was okay because he had reached his destination which was apparently a good twenty feet away from the highway. The GPS told Ethan that the reward had been in the glove compartment the whole time! Ethan felt silly that it had been right under his nose. Ethan broke the GPS (which made him very happy and less annoyed), took the key, unlocked the glove compartment, took the microchip thing, unbuckled his seat belt, kicked open the door, and then left before the car blew up. Ethan put the chip into his phone and saw Shaun. This made Ethan sad, but then Ethan was happy because he knew that he could walk faster than the police could drive and could get away from them. Then Ethan went back to the motel.


	5. Making New Friends!

**I'm an awful person. -_- I think that about sums everything up. XD I am deeply sorry for taking almost a year to update this fan fic; it shouldn't have taken this long, and if I had actually scraped together a work ethic it wouldn't have. But I didn't, so it didn't, and now we find ourselves where we are today. Again, I'm really sorry to everyone who read this fan fic, enjoyed it, reviewed it, etc. You don't deserve the disservice I've done by taking so long to update this with nary a word in-between, so again, I'm very sorry. I completely understand if you've given up hope on this fan fic and don't want to read it anymore, and I appreciate anyone who's willing to even give it a look after so long. **

**To be honest, I'm not sure how well I pulled off this chapter. I feel that way about pretty much everything I write, true, but this chapter seems longer and does go more "in-depth" to all the game's chapters, so I'm not sure if it works as well. I'm also not sure if anyone is really even interested in the fan fic at this point. XD If you are still interested and find it funny, let me know. If nobody does, I'll probably just end with the next chapter. If there is interest, though, I'll do my best to finish it (and not take another year to update, but, well, no promises; I doubt I could keep them.) I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I apologize again for the incredible wait.**

Madison Paige was very happy. She got to be in the story again, and she even got to ride a motorcycle. Riding a motorcycle can be dangerous, though, so Madison wore a helmet to be safe. Madison went to a motel because she needed to go to motels because of a plot device and not because it conveniently let her meet up with another character.

Madison walked up to the counter to talk to the guy behind the counter. This guy was called a recptionist. This receptionist really liked Madison, but she didn't like him. Madison signed her name so the receptionist could read it for a trailer. Madison then left, which made the receptionist very sad but also very happy.

Madison walked up to her room and tried to go inside, but she noticed Ethan standing nearby. She couldn't ignore Ethan and just go inside her room, so she decided to talk to Ethan. Ethan was badly hurt, though, which made Madison very concerned. Madison wanted Ethan to go the hospital, but Ethan didn't want to because he was afraid of hospitals, so he asked Madison to help him to his room. Madison did this because she liked helping people.

Madison helped Ethan into his room, sat him on his bed, treated his wound, changed his diaper, and gave him a painkiller. She made sure to tell Ethan that a painkiller killed pain because Ethan is an idiot and could have forgotten that. Ethan was hungry so he ate a lot of painkillers.

Ethan then took a shower and left the door open so Madison could peek in, but Madison didn't because watching someone else shower is wrong. Madison told Ethan she had to sleep in motels because she had insomnia because of a plot device, which made Ethan happy because he had blackouts because of a plot device and now he felt less alone. After Ethan finished his shower, Madison decided to leave, which made her sad because she wouldn't be in the story for a while. She asked Ethan his name to stay longer, but after he told it to her she left and Ethan got to be the main character again. This made Madison very sad.

Ethan opened up the origami box to get another origami. This origami was a butterfly made a dollar bills, which made Ethan happy because butterflies are pretty and he could buy stuff with dollar bills. But the dollar bills were taped together, so Ethan couldn't use them, which made him sad. Ethan read the address and then he left, making sure to take his cool jacket because he wanted to impress people.

Somewhere else, Norman Jayden and Lieutenant Blake were in a car. Blake wanted to ask Jayden how he was doing, but Blake was so shy he couldn't do it, so he moved his head around a lot. When Blake finally talked, he asked Jayden why he didn't shoot before, which he didn't want to ask but was too nervous to ask anything else. Jayden said he didn't shoot because he wanted to be rational and smart and because he didn't want to tell Blake everything happened so fast he didn't have a chance to shoot. This made Blake a bit angry, so Jayden told Blake he was a tough guy and good cop. This made Blake happy, but he didn't want to show it so he just acted like he was mad, but he called Jayden by his first name, which made Jayden happy.

Jayden then saw a bald guy in a red hoodie, and even with the rain making it hard to see knew it was the person they were waiting for. He and Blake got out of the car to say hello. The bald man noticed the two were cold and wanted to give them his coffee, but he accidentally hit Blake in the face with it because he was nervous, so he ran because he was afraid Blake and Jayden were mad at him. Jayden chased after him and did his best to follow along, even after the bald man tried to slow him down with ice, flowers, and evil chickens. Jayden tried his best and dodged everything, but then he realized he didn't even have to, which made him sad.

Jayden chased the bald man to a freezer and politely wondered where Blake was. Meanwhile, Blake had been helping an old lady cross the street, saving a dog from being run over, rescuing a cat from a tree, carrying people from a burning building, and using the last of his money to buy ice cream for a lonely orphan. After he did all that, Blake ran after Jayden, wanting to help his best friend. After entering the meat locker and saying hi to Rocky Balboa, Jayden fought the bald man, and because Jayden was good at pressing buttons very fast he beat the bald man. Blake came in and said they had finally caught their Origami Killer, but he said Origami funny so Jayden was confused.

At Scott Shelby's apartment, Scott Shelby was sleeping because he was fat and tired. Scott was having a good dream, so he was having trouble waking up, but he did anyway. Scott was bored and tired because he had nothing to do except drink, and drinking is bad so he didn't do that. Scott wandered around and then looked at a picture of himself when he wasn't fat, but that just made him sad so he stopped. Scott waited until the doorbell rang. Lauren had come to visit him. Scott was happy that he had helped Lauren out, but when he realized that Lauren would have visited him even if he hadn't helped her he was sad.

Lauren was thirsty from having her mouth hanging open all the time, so Scott got her some water. Lauren told Scott that she got a creepy letter when her son disappeared, which made his father run off. Lauren kept the envelope for plot reasons, so Scott looked at it and said an old typewriter typed the address on it. He thanked her for it, but Lauren said she wanted to help him find the Origami Killer. Scott said no, but the story wouldn't let him turn her down so he said yes. They shook hands and became awesome detective partners who did awesome detective partner stuff.

The awesome detective partners went to a cool party because that's what awesome detectives do. Scott asked Lauren if she wanted to stay in the car, but she said she went everywhere Scott went because they were partners. Scott wondered if this meant the bathroom too, but he decided he would ask her about that later.

The awesome detective partners went into the party, where a lot of nice people were having fun. Scott tried to talk to the people, but this just resulted in awkward conversation so he decided not to talk to them. Scott wanted to talk to the person who was throwing the party. That person was Gordi Kramer. Scott asked Gordi's friends if he could talk to Gordi, and he even said his friend Benjamin wanted to see Gordi. Gordi's friends said no, though, which made Scott and his friend Benjamin very sad.

Scott talked to Lauren and told her he was sad. She wanted to make Scott happy, since they were awesome detective partners, so she danced in front of Gordi's friends, which made them happy. Then Lauren fell down, which made Gordi's friends sad and confused. While Gordi's friends were sad and confused, Scott went upstairs to talk to Gordi.

Gordi was in his room with two nice ladies were very close friends and really enjoyed spending time together. Scott tried to talk to Gordi, who was watching a weird French cartoon and wouldn't talk to Scott. Scott was persistent, which means to possibly accuse someone of murdering another person. Gordi told the two nice ladies to go home and then talked while moving his mouth weirdly because he thought it was fun. Gordi told Scott he was the Origarmi Killer, which Scott guessed meant he was the Origami Killer, but he wasn't sure. Then Scott yelled at Gordi, which made Gordi upset and call his friends to take care of Scott. Scott didn't like being taken care of because it made him feel old, so he beat up Gordi's friends to show Gordi he wasn't old. He then told Gordi he was playing a dangerous game, but Gordi wasn't even playing Mouse Trap, so he didn't know what Scott was talking about and instead said how cool his dad was. Then Scott left, though whether or not he remembered to bring Lauren remains a mystery to this day.

At a different place, Ethan was driving to the address he had found on the butterfly dollar bills. He got out of his car and followed the butterflies, because they were pretty and made him happy, even in the rain. Ethan then climbed through a hole in a fence, but he got a boo-boo, so he kissed it to make it feel better. Ethan went inside a building and found a tunnel with some matches. Ethan knew that playing with matches was wrong, but since he was an adult it was okay, so he lit a match, looked at the tunnel, and then shook the match out because he didn't want to catch his cool jacket on fire. Ethan then climbed into the tunnel because Ethan is an idiot.

Ethan crawled until he found a sharp piece of glass. Ethan freaked out and so did the music. Ethan said it was impossible to go back even though it really wasn't so he decided to crawl over the glass because it seemed like a good idea. Ethan went slow and lit some matches because he liked playing with fire even though it was bad. Sometimes it was dark and hard to tell which way he was going, but Ethan kept crawling and after a long time got to the end. At the end of the tunnel Ethan found a slide. Ethan would've found a slide a lot of fun, but he was in pain and had extensive bleeding, so he didn't find it very fun at all.

At the end of the slide was a large room with a lot of electric wires. Ethan knew that playing with electric wires was bad and should never be done by anyone, but he had been doing a lot of bad things so he thought it was okay to do it to save Shaun. He found dead wires and made his way through those, though he wondered if other people going through the wires would have to do something like hold their controller awkwardly and hold down a bunch of buttons, but he only thought about this for a little while. Ethan touched a live wire and was afraid he was going to die, but he realized that if he failed he would just run away, so he felt less scared. Ethan got to the end of the wires and somersaulted through to look cool, though no one was watching so he was sad. Ethan found a microchip thingy and put it in his phone. It showed another video of Shaun trapped, which made Ethan sad, but some triumphant music played as he walked away so he felt happy. Then Ethan went back to the motel.


	6. When Friends Make Each Other Sad

**Hello all, and sorry for the delay! At least it wasn't almost a year this time... I do want to continue this fan fic and update it more consistently, but I've just started college, so I'm not sure when I'll be able to write, or how often this will be updated. I'm going to try my darnedest to start updating it bi-weekly on Saturdays... I'm not sure if this will work at all, though. I'm very sorry for how delayed this fic has been. Thank you so much for reading, and thank you to all those who reviewed the last chapter! I'm sorry I didn't reply to all your reviews; I like to reply to reviews I get, but sometimes I put it off and never get around to it. (That seems to be a theme for me.) Also, let me know if you're still enjoying the fic and if there's anything you'd like me to improve. I'm always afraid I've "lost the touch" so-to-speak and the chapters I'm producing are inferior to those that came before them. I think I'd also like the chapters to be shorter and less detailed in the future; I've been going into perhaps too much detail when describing the scenes, and the last few chapters haven't really resembled a children's book, to be honest. XD If you'd prefer me to go to a less-detailed approach, please let me know. Sorry again for the delays, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

_Disclaimer: I forgot to put one of these here last chapter! As always, I do not own Heavy Rain, and this fic **CONTAINS SPOILERS**. Reader beware._

Chapter 6: When Friends Make Each Other Sad

Madison was very happy. She got to be in the story again. She was hoping that she would get her own chapter, but then she walked over to Ethan's room and saw him lying on the floor taking a nap. This made Madison sad, but because Madison is a nice person she helped Ethan. Madison knew that people should take naps on beds, so she put Ethan on his bed. Madison also knew that Ethan would be hot if he kept his sweater on, so she took it off.

Then Madison realized that Ethan had a fever! This meant that Ethan was sick. He was so sick he had burns and cuts. Madison knew that she couldn't kiss all of Ethan's owies to make them better, so she got all the stuff she found in the bathroom and used it to make Ethan feel better. Madison gave Ethan pills, but she didn't tell him what they were because she knew that you should never tell someone what the pills you're giving them are. After Madison rubbed Ethan's tummy and disinfected the air over Ethan's arm, Ethan fell asleep to take another nap. Madison waited until Ethan woke up because she knew she couldn't do anything without him around.

After a long, long time, Ethan woke up. Madison and Ethan talked about boring stuff while Ethan put on his awesome jacket. Madison said that Ethan lived a dangerous life, but this made Ethan sad, so Madison said she was sorry and wouldn't ask any more questions. Then Ethan told her to not ask any more questions, which confused Madison. She wanted to help Ethan more, but he told her no one could help him because Ethan is an idiot. Then Madison left and the story went back to Ethan, which made Madison sad.

Ethan walked around his room. He was tired, but not too tired to admire how good he looked in the mirror. Then he looked out the window, which made sad music play, which made Ethan even sadder. Then Ethan remembered the origami figures, so he opened up the next one. It looked like a lizard, which made Ethan scared because he was afraid of lizards. The lizard gave him an address at Marble Street. Ethan loved to play marbles, so he was very happy to go there.

Meanwhile, Lieutenant Blake and Norman Jayden were at the police station. Ash was there too, but nobody cared about him which made him sad. Another nameless cop was talking to the man in the red hoodie who they had brought in earlier. Blake was very angry because the man in the red hoodie wasn't the Origami Killer or the Origammi Killer. Then someone called Ash on the phone, which made him very happy, but they just wanted to tell Blake and Jayden that Grace wanted to talk to them, which made Ash sad again.

Blake and Jayden talked to Grace, who told them about Ethan's plot device amnesia and how it made him seem like he was the Origami Killer. Blake pretended to type what she said as she talked, but he was really chatting with his friends on Facebook and wasn't paying attention. Jayden and Blake didn't know if they could use unexplained plot devices as evidence, but they decided to ignore that and go after Ethan to move the plot forward.

Blake and Jayden went to Ethan's shrink to ask him about Ethan. Ethan's shrink didn't like being in the story since scenes were getting longer and longer, so he said he wouldn't talk to them. This made Blake angry because he wanted to impress Jayden by being a good cop. Jayden wanted to impress Blake too, so he asked the shrink nicely to talk to them. The shrink still wouldn't talk and said he would call the police. Blake didn't want other cops to be Jayden's friends, so he started hitting the shrink so the shrink couldn't call the police. This made Jayden angry, though, and he told Blake to stop. This made Blake angry at Jayden, so the two yelled at each other. The shrink got tired of their yelling and told them that Ethan had unexplained plot devices that made him look like he was the Origami Killer. He also told them that Ethan dropped an origami during their last visit, which definitely made him the Origami Killer.

Blake and Jayden left. They were very happy that the shrink didn't call the police and report Blake for punching him in the face. They then rode around the city. Blake again wanted to impress Jayden, so he told all the cops to chase after Ethan because he was the Origammi Killer. This just made all the cops confused because they thought they were looking for the Origami Killer, but they decided to look for Ethan anyway.

Elsewhere in the city, Scott went to a place where people played golf. Lauren didn't go with him even though she said wherever Scott went she went. Scott wanted to talk to an old man named Robert Kramer. He knew all old people liked golf, so he went to a place where people played golf to find Kramer. Scott told Kramer he was good at golf, which made Kramer happy, so Kramer was nice to Scott. Kramer asked Scott if he ever played golf. Scott once did play, but by accident he set the course on fire and killed all the people playing with him. Scott decided to just tell Kramer that the owner of the golf course was still looking for him, which was true. Scott hoped he had lost the owner in Puerto Rico and the owner was still stuck there. If he showed up, then Scott would have to leave and find a new place to live again, which would make him very, very sad.

Kramer told Scott that golf was the best game ever, and told Scott he could play too if he wanted. Scott didn't want to start another fire, but he did want to talk to Kramer, so he decided to play. Kramer told Scott to take off his jacket, which made Scott sad because he would look fatter, but he did it anyway. Then Kramer stared at Scott's butt, which crept Scott out, but he ignored it and grabbed a golf club. Scott swung and hit a golf ball really far, which surprised both him and Kramer. Kramer and Scott took turns hitting golf balls. As they played, they talked about Kramer's son, Gordi, and how Scott went to his party and talked to him. Kramer told Scott that Gordi wasn't the Origami Killer or the Origarmi Killer or even the Origammi Killer, but Scott wasn't so sure. Then Kramer offered to buy Scott something nice, but Scott didn't like getting gifts, so he told Kramer he didn't play that game and left. This made Kramer angry, so he played some more golf to feel better.

Forty-seven minutes later, Ethan drove his car to Marble Street. He looked around but didn't see any games of marbles, which made him sad. He walked into a building on the street. It had a hallway that looked really cool. Then Ethan saw a porcelain figurine... shaped like a lizard! Ethan was very scared of the fake lizard, but then he got angry because they weren't marbles, so he picked up each one and threw it on the ground. After Ethan broke all the lizards, he noticed that one had a key in it. Ethan used the key to open a door with a lizard on it. Ethan was scared that there would be more lizards in the room, but there weren't any lizards, only a GPS on a table, so Ethan was happy.

Ethan sat down at the table and turned on the GPS. The annoying GPS lady told him that he had to make a salad to help save Shaun because vegetables are good for you. Ethan knew this, so he got a knife and started chopping up vegetables. Ethan was not as careful with the knife as he should have been, though, and he accidentally cut off his finger. This hurt. A lot. It made Ethan very sad. Ethan tried to put a red-hot iron on it to lessen the pain because Ethan is an idiot but that just made it hurt more.

Ethan knew he would have to be more careful with sharp knives next time. He finished the salad and ate it. The GPS lady told Ethan that the chip was under the table, which made Ethan sad because he didn't have to make the salad in the first place, but he was happy to have eaten his vegetables. Ethan put the chip in his phone, and it showed Shaun in a grate again before giving Ethan more letters. Ethan wondered if the Origami Killer was trying to play the most extreme game of Hangman ever, but he ignored that, got up, and left while the same triumphant music played, which made Ethan feel a bit better but didn't stop his finger from hurting. A lot.


End file.
